Tethered

rolledtrousers:

You create the vacuum, and I’ll fall into it. Fill it with myself, until there’s nothing but me, a whole universe of myself that permeates down to the core of you. Turn yourself into a canvas, and I’ll paint myself there.

But do it, please. Create in yourself an inverse, and I’ll render a whole. The concept of equality has a habit of reducing everyone to a homogeneous mass, each the same until something finally comes along to create some texture, or hack out some originality. We don’t start off the same, you and I, but we do start off with the same choices, the same opportunities.

So don’t be the same, merely be symmetrical. Where I go left, go right. Where I tie, you be tied. When I swell, you lull, create space for me to fill, and I’ll do the same for you. Control fails without a subject, I’d just be some madman in the dark, alone and rambling.

And let that inversion, the fearful symmetry, permeate yourself, sending out aftershocks and tendrils away from me, and into your life. There’s always a reason you’re seeking that surrender, some imbalance that you’re trying to revert, so be mindful of that. Allow the moments that exhaust you, drain away your will to lead and assert, to be bolstered by the times that you don’t have to.

I’ll do the same. I’ll use that confidence, the web of expectation that constantly buoys us back together, to push me forward when I would otherwise tend towards procrastination, or a lack of conviction. Symbiosis carries with it all sorts of distasteful connotations, so let’s try something else. Co-dependence.

We take from this different things, but as much as I am who I am without anyone to be it with, you should understand that it’s only when I am able to do those things, steer another person, that I ever feel like I’m properly driving myself. Call it what you will; a pursuit of a muse, a reason, or purpose, or merely that finally there is someone bearing witness, and in having an audience you want to excel.

Regardless, it, without fail, makes me a better man.

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